Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up - by Alexandra Potter

Review by Julia

Best consumed with

A summery cocktail (think Aperol Spritz). This book gives off “summer reading by the beach” (with a cocktail in hand) vibes.

What’s it all about?

It's the story of a woman called Nell, who moves back home to the UK from California after a painful break-up. When she arrives home she wonders how the hell she got to be in this place in her life. Her old friends are married and/or with kids, and she’s back home without a job and single. However, she then starts a secret podcast about her experiences and things begin to change. 

Why did I choose this book to read?

 It was recommended by one of my best friends, who said “I couldn’t put it down” and “It’s just so relatable”. With an endorsement like that, I knew I had to try it out. I was working in Hong Kong at the time, so I tried to find it in a couple of bookstores near work, with no luck. But then my sisters and mum came to visit and we went to my local bookstore in Wan Chai (shout to “JP Books”). It doesn’t have the biggest English-language section (which is understandable) but lo and behold, I found it! 

What did I love? 

From the first chapter (which is titled “#whatthefuckamIdoingwithmylife”) and the first page (which starts with “How the hell did I get here?”), I was hooked. The start of Nell’s story is pretty much my story when I moved back to Sydney, after my own bad break-up. Even though I was moving back home after spending 8 amazing years in London, part of me did feel like a failure, as I was single - back to how I started when I had left! So it was really nice to see this explored in a novel, in a really forgiving, honest and relatable way.

The book is incredibly easy to read and is very much a literary page turner. It's also funny and witty - reminiscent of Bridget Jones-type humour. There was one particular part about the “Loo-Roll Wars” which had me in stitches, and I was glad to know I wasn't the only one who's had to have that conversation (so look out for that!). 

The book explores how the way we view and value our lives (whether it be our looks, relationships or careers) is inextricably linked to how others’ perceive us. What other people think of us and how other people view us matters. And maybe it always has, but it seems particularly exacerbated in today’s social media obsessed world. This may be a topic that a lot of mediums (not just novels) explore, but Confessions manages to address this topic in a very funny and uplifting way through Nell’s journey. 

One of the things that surprised me most was that Nell doesn't have much self-pity on her part, nor does she resent her friends for their lives. Rather, she adores her friends’ kids, has a good relationship with her family and is genuinely grateful to at least have some sort of support network. That's a big part of what made the book so relatable - even though we probably all sometimes feel like f*** ups, I don’t think we truly resent or hate our family or those closest to us. It made Nell leap out from the page and seem like a real person, and a woman I would really want to be friends with and have a glass of wine with (or two!).

Also, I mostly read this book when I was finishing off my solo month in Hong Kong, and it was exactly what I needed when I was tired after work and feeling a bit homesick. So if you're after a warm, comforting and funny book, then this is for you. 

What did I not love?

I didn’t like one of the relationship/dating storylines. I thought it wasn't very realistic and it felt like it came a bit out of nowhere.

Book club recommended? 

Absolutely! It would make for a great and easy book club discussion. The characters include women (and some men) in different stages of their lives, so it lends itself to a lot of good book club type questions. 

There is also a sequel which I haven't yet read (called More Confessions of a Forty-Something F**k Up) which means you'll have another book club read sorted!